24, Single & Work Full Time

It's been over two years since I have even opened this blog! And I randomly decided to look at it again because I have had a few ideas circling in my brain for awhile, and decided why not?!

So quick life update: I work full time in Ministry and I'm 24.... And single. Life has changed a lot in two years, God has stretched me and molded me in ways I never knew possible and I can really see the changes God has made in my life with relationships and my character. I've been single for over a year now, and honestly, I'm loving it. Of course I have dated a bit, but nothing has turned into anything, which quite frankly I'm okay with because I love my life--I love how God is pursuing me and I'm pursuing Him, I love my work and how I can dive into it. I'm content with my singleness, and I never in a million years thought I would be here. 24, single and nowhere near married. I was pretty sure I would've been the girl who was first married out of all my friends and probably have a kid on the way by now. God had other plans in mind, and I am so glad that I listened to Him (not always very willingly) and not myself because my life would be drastically different and not for the wiser.

That being said, now that I've been looking and I guess what you could say dating, I've realized that it is completely different now. Both of the two serious relationships I have had, happened while I was in school. We met through mutual friends and they both stemmed from a friendship. I LOVED that, in many ways, I knew the person I was committing to and there were no grey areas. Someone asked me recently whether I prefered dating or gaining a relationship from an existing friendship, in a heartbeat I said from a friendship! That's because it's what I know, it's what I am comfortable with, and apparently, it matches my personality type.

I took the Myer's Briggs test just the other day and it said I'm an ESFJ. After describing what this stands for, it had a section on how ESFJs respond to romantic relationships, which goes on to say "romantic relationships hold a special level of importance for ESFJs. No other kind of relationship provides people with ESFJ personality type with the same level of support and devotion, and the feelings of security and stability that come with strong romantic relationships are extremely warming... They don't do casual flings--they need to know their partners will always be by their side... marriage and family are the ultimate goal." (www.16personalities.com) When I read this, I laughed because this is me to a "T!" I thrive in a committed relationship, I don't like the grey areas that exist in the early stages of a budding romance. I like for sure things, and when I commit, it's a serious thing. Not just in relationships, but this character quality applies to every area of my life. So, "having fun" and "dating around" are just not naturally in my vocabulary, but I don't know if you all know this, but in order to actually build a relationship with someone when you're out of college, you have to date! GASP! I've gotten off really easy with my all of two serious relationships because I was friends with them first, so there was no need to "date" in order to decide we were going to be in a relationship, and this worked for me.  Now, I'm 24 and having to basically date for the first time. I have this internal struggle/dialogue, where I tell God, all I want is to be friends with a guy and then have it go from there, why in the world do I have to date a complete stranger or someone I just met?! Like it makes no sense to me, but did you catch earlier when I said God was growing and stretching me? Yeah, this is an area He has been doing that too. We're here and I just hear Him saying, "We've done it your way, now let's do it mine and I promise you, I do know what I'm doing." So, I'm buckling in for the ride and just taking the twists and turns as they go!

But.....

The enemy has a funny way of working, he is evil and cruel, can rob you of your joy. So there are times when yes, I am content and trusting God in this "dating season." Then there are moments where I get bummed because so many of my acquaintances and friends are already married or engaged, I'm sitting here with my dog, Ziva. Two of my childhood friends recently got engaged and I am through the roof excited for them! I was talking with one of them the other day and she said, "This must be rough for you, Alexis." And to be quite honest, I had no idea where she was going with this.... "Both of your close friends from your childhood are getting married and you're not." My stomach dropped and if I had been alone, I probably would've started crying because I hadn't thought of it that way. I felt ashamed that I hadn't "checked that off my list yet," and my friends were already there. It made me feel like I was missing something and that I was behind. I started making excuses for myself that I have my friends, I have my work and that I'm thoroughly invested in my ministry. What she said to me ate at me for awhile, until I voiced my concerns to God and realized this was the enemy. Making me feel insecure about my singleness and making me buy into the lie that me being single is a problem that needs fixing. Here's the thing, my singleness doesn't need fixing! I'm 24 and I have a whole life ahead of me, yes, I am looking forward to marriage and having a family, but that doesn't mean I am putting my life on hold until it happens. I will not feel like something is wrong with me because I'm not in a relationship and my prayer is that my generation of ladies who are single in their 20's & 30's will feel the same. There is no shame in singleness and do not let anyone tell you anything different. You are a precious daughter of the King & He has got you! And for that reason we can all sleep soundly at night.

I hope you can relate to this and share in my victory of recognizing satan's voice in a swirl of emotions. How has God been working in your life? Where have your insecurities been getting the best of you? What are some strategies that have worked for you when you're feeling the darkness creeping in?


--Alexis

Firsts

Today, I had my first ever corporate job interview! AH! In doing so, I thought why not share what I learned from this interview and some things to remember when going into an interview. Because I wish I would have thought these things through and been more prepared.  Even though, the interview went wonderfully! (YAY) 

Interview Prep

• Have an extra pair of sheer tights when getting ready because you never know when they might decide to rip or get snagged. Like mine did while I was getting ready for my interview.  Luckily, my mom had an extra pair! If I did not have those, I would have had to run to the store and likely be late, but instead I was on time. 
• If you have allergies, take your allergy medicine! Just because you are inside before you are getting ready and feel no symptoms does not mean that is going to be the same when you leave the house! Like mine, they started acting up ten minutes after I left the house! 
• Bring a nice cold water with you for the drive over.  My mouth was parched and dry! Luckily, once I got to the office they had a water cooler, so cliche, but a life saver.  
• Get a blazer--It is worth investing in! A nice one, but you can always get it from Marshalls or TJ Maxx or Ross.  They have great clothing at a discount price :) 
• I wore a nice professional cardigan over my dress, and wish I would have taken the extra time to go and buy a blazer instead.
• Business clothes are expensive! I have been a student for over 16 years and have never really needed to buy anything professional looking.  BOY do I wish I would have just started collecting some stuff in the past few years just to prep for these business days... It would have been less of a shock when I got to the cash register and had to pay $90 for a dress, cardigan, tights and shoes.  This was all purchased at Target, so thank you Jesus for discounted prices.  I can only imagine how much it would have cost if I went to a department store! 
• Buy a business notebook like the ones that are black faux leather and zip up.  It can hold a pad of paper, a pen and any paperwork you need to bring.  Like your resume, ALWAYS bring a copy of your resume.  
• I did not buy one and wish I had, which I am now going to get this weekend! 
• If you are a girl, wear your hair back or just out of your face.  It looks more professional.
• Also, take off any crazy nail polish or any chipped nail polish. 
• Bring a pen!

During the Interview

• ALWAYS arrive 5-10 minutes early.  It looks really good and you never know when they might just happen to be early or you might get lost on the way.  Always leave time for that.
• Be honest! Do not lie about some job you had or any accidents you might have had.  It is better to be upfront and honest then for them to find out after the fact.  
• Be confident!  Interviews are all about selling yourself and building relationships.  Be your best self for them and make it seem like you are the best thing since sliced bread.... In a humble manner, no one needs a cocky person.  
• Use eye contact when talking to the interviewer
• Be concise
• Practice some responses to fake questions before your interview, it does wonders to calm you down.
• Emphasize what your past experience can bring to the table
• If you have any new ideas for the company that they could implement let them know.
• Make it known that you have researched the company and know something about it
• It shows that you are actually interested in working there 

So there you go! There is some of the stuff I learned and thought would be good to pass on! If you guys all know this, that's fine, but I figured I would share some stuff because its always valuable to share your personal experiences! 

Books.

Just today I watched "The Fault in Our Stars" movie trailer, and up until this point I had no interest in reading that book.  Then boom. I watch the trailer and realize I have been missing out. How have I not picked up this book yet?! It is weird, but I absolutely love depressing books.  I had someone once tell me that I should read for fun, and my reply was that I do, they just happen to have depressing story lines.  I don't know what it is, but I love them. I think it is the perspective they give me on life and how much I can learn from them.  Also, it's the writing, the fact that an author can portray such profound emotions through the written word is awe-inspiring.  It takes real talent and wisdom for a person to be able to write something that makes you sit there and cry your eyes out.  They've painted this beautiful picture for you and it's alive in your head. You feel what the characters feel, and I think that is what I really love about depressing books. I cannot wait to start the book. School has been absolutely crazy and busy, so we will see how this goes. Who needs sleep anyways?! 

xxxx Alexis

So These Stars...

Quite recently, I have been aware that "hey my clothes aren't fitting as well as they used to."  This seems to happen every year around this time because I have a tendency to kick myself into high gear during the Summer or even the start of the year and then when the school year starts around September when I have reached some goal, I slow down and just stop working out and even eat horribly. Note: my definition of horrible might be completely different because after all, I am gluten and dairy intolerant, but I do not necessarily stay to those. Anyways, so I started thinking I should work out because I want to stay fit and be able to do an actual push-up.  Apparently, the type of push-ups I do, according to my boyfriend, are fake push-ups. And when I try to do just even one correctly I fall on my face because my arms cannot support my body! I find this very depressing...  If this is going to work at all, I decided I need to be honest with you. I am not what you would call overweight, I am 5'6" and weigh probably 135 pounds, maybe give or take a few pounds, but I am unwilling to get on that scale because I have been eating horribly lately, but I did workout the past two days (yay!).  I am a perfectionist and hard on myself. I can be incredibly insecure about myself because let's face it, society has told us that we need to be perfectly skinny and have perfect skin, which I have neither.  And I have drank the kool-aid when it comes to the lies society has fed us, and it is a little embarrassing that I have because who wants to admit that?!?! I decided that I cannot lose weight or even just get fit for the sake of looking skinny. (Also, my mom has struggled with her weight since she was a pre-teen, and I am all too aware of what she has been through, which has driven me to stay healthy.)  It has to be for more.... Like health, energy and happiness. With this new mind set and thinking about how God wants me to view my body, as said in 1 Corinthians 6:19, "Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own."My body is not mine, it is the Lord's. He doesn't want me to view myself as flawed and fat, but His beautiful creation. For goodness sake, He knitted me in my mother's womb! He knew what He was doing! So I have to take confidence in that, right?
     This leads me to why I posted this, I was surfing my facebook feed and all of a sudden I see this post about how Beyonce lost 65 pounds post baby. I was intrigued by this because after all she is the Queen Bey. And I am reading this article and all of a sudden she says it, "I wanted to show women that it is possible to be a woman and mother, and still be able to get your body back." That's noble of you Beyonce. Then I read how she did it.... She had her trainer live with her and woke up at 5am, worked out for two hours then did the same thing at 5pm the same day. And also had an extreme diet of just eating protein and vegetables. Beyonce, come on, this is NOT showing all women that we can be a woman and a mother. The average woman does not have enough money to have a trainer live with her and does not have the time to work out for 4 hours a day.  We have lives, we have bills and we have regular jobs.  Ladies, I am all for being dedicated and working hard at something, but this is just ridiculous. I appreciate the fact that she worked very hard, but her reasoning was not for herself, as she says in her documentary, "I wanted to show my body." UGH. That's great and all, but in the age we live in, we do not need to hear that, we are aware all you want to do is show your body, but we need to dig deeper for our reasons to actually lose weight. Like to be healthy, for myself, to be able to do the things you love, to not be exhausted all the time. Not to show my body off to the world. And the way she lost the weight, that is not real life! You have a baby, you should not feel pressured to lose all the weight that you gained. You should be amazed at the fact that you just created the life that lies before you. I am not saying do not lose the weight, but do it in a way that is healthy and in your own time. Still enjoy life and live the life the Lord has set before you!
     I am on this journey because it is easy for me to be a tyrant and count my calories, say no to every dessert possible, never eat carbs and be unhappy. I will rise above this and eat healthy because it is the right thing to do, not to be stick thin and workout because it helps my energy levels and relieves stress! I encourage you to look at the reasons for why you are loosing weight or getting fit. Make sure they are reasons that will actually keep you going and not reasons that will just make you depressed a month from now, eating a tub of ice cream. Be happy and healthy! I hope you ring in the New Year with positivity and eat some cake because it is good to indulge some times.  :)

Side note: I do like Beyonce, and if I offend any of you, that was not my intention. My intention was to show that we need to lose weight for the right reasons--health and happiness. Below is a link about Beyonce's story for those who like to check the facts...

----Alexis


Beyonce E!News Story

So you want to start a blog....

Let's get some introductions out of the way. I'm Alexis Victoria Coutsicos, 21 years young, senior at UCI and I love The Lord. Hence the title of my blog, Redeemed. It's not like I think I have a whole lot of knowledge that I decided to start a blog, I just felt The Lord pushing in this direction. The need to be authentic in this day and age is so crucial as a Christian and follower of Christ. And being honest about my struggles and my passions is a start. I just pray it might help some people out or make them realize, they aren't alone in this journey. I am a nanny to a lovely 8 year old boy who fills my life with so much joy and a full time student. If that doesn't tell anyone anything, I am a pretty busy person, which happens to give me some pretty interesting experiences. And I'm hoping you all, anyone out there?!, will find them just as interesting. I'm going to be honest, I can be sporadic and not stay on topic, so I apologize in advance. I can't wait to embark on this journey of blogging. For now, that is all..... 

---Alexis